A beautiful day and a long drive to panther falls. I wanted to do some swimming and roast marshmallows and I’ve been too precious about preserving memory. I’m more fearful of black bears from my bedroom than alone in the woods after dark.

a man a little younger than my father approached me at a diagonal, his shy young daughter twisting just out of sight. He brushed his hands to clear off the sweat-stuck sand dredged up from some shoreline miles away to be spread over this 100 square meter stretch of the lake, a secluded stretch for the Mennonites to enjoy a day at the beach.

I was on the way to a waterfall I’d gone camping by a few years ago. I’d spent the morning ambling through the tall grass of an ill-maintained bird sanctuary, taking pictures and watching beetles have sex inside of my new construction fairy house. When i emerged The cotton hem of my skirt was dotted with ticks. I stripped in the gravel lot and quarantined the skirt in the trunk of my car before driving ten minutes to the lake hoping I could drown any that had made their way up my shirt or into my hair.

I swam through the crowded water to the ropes indicating the end of the safe swimming area, past which there was a steep drop from the heap of sand to the lake’s muddy bottom. I turned my back and put my ears just under the water so I could drown out the sounds of the hundreds of people behind me, looking out over the rest of the lake. The father and daughter caught me just as I’d waded back to the shore. He waved his hand and asked how I was like we’d met. I said I was doing well. He smiled and wished me a happy fourth of July.

I met another father and his daughter at the falls. This time the daughter was about my age. They’d been sitting up on the cliffs concealed by the treeline and saw me swimming under the falls, It had just stormed and I had the river to myself. They were camping at the same site I’d chosen when i came with someone i don’t know now, We’d said we would come back there and didn’t make it that long. They invited me to come and sit with them and I was glad for their company, It was the only conversation i’d had that day. They asked me if i’d sing.

Fathers’ recognition of the need for family. recognition of the shape of solitude.